After 10 years in New Zealand, she returned to China with her Kiwi husband and child
Staff Writer: Yima
Image Source: Supplied
In August 2023, a family of three boarded a plane from Auckland to Shanghai.
This Chinese-New Zealand family had decided to move to China and settle in Dali.
Unlike many families who take their children abroad, they chose to return to China.
"Happiest during my working holiday"
The protagonist of this story is named Tangyuan.
In 2013, after graduating from university, instead of finding a job in China, she flew to the New Zealand with a working holiday visa.
Like many working holidaymakers, she worked on a farm.
The farm work wasn’t too hard, and she made friends from all over the world. Looking back, she says that was “the happiest time in New Zealand.”
After three months of work, she decided to improve herself further and applied to a school, transitioning from a working holidaymaker to a student.
Initially interested in studying wine, she intended to pursue that field in New Zealand, but her agent advised her that job prospects were limited. After careful consideration, she chose to study business instead.
During her studies, she met her partner.
Tangyuan’s boyfriend came from a multinational family.
His parents were from the U.S. and New Zealand, but he grew up in the U.S. and moved to New Zealand at the age of 19 to attend university. He never expected to meet his “true love” from China.
In 2015, with the blessings of family and friends, Tangyuan and her boyfriend held their wedding at a vineyard in Christchurch.
After the wedding, Tangyuan took her husband to meet her family in China.
Many foreigners who have never been to China have certain preconceived notions, but once they experience life there, their opinions quickly change.
Shortly after returning to New Zealand, Tangyuan found out she was pregnant, and the family eagerly awaited the arrival of their new baby.
Pregnancy didn’t stop Tangyuan from pursuing personal growth.
At the time, she was managing a café, but she still wanted to improve herself further and applied for a second degree in industrial design in New Zealand.
After getting accepted, she and her husband moved from Christchurch to Wellington.
During her studies, Tangyuan gave birth to her baby, but she didn’t quit her education. Instead, she balanced motherhood with her studies.
She spent her days hiking with the baby, and after the baby went to sleep at night, she stayed up to complete her school assignments.
With the baby growing and changing, so did her design skills. She enjoyed switching between the roles of mother and student.
New Zealand places a strong emphasis on family, and fathers are actively involved in parenting. With her husband’s support, Tangyuan’s parenting journey was relatively smooth.
“Moving to Dali is not about escaping or giving up”
Returning to China was not a spur-of-the-moment decision.
Tangyuan had considered it many times during her ten years in New Zealand, but there were always reasons holding her back, and her family and friends didn’t fully understand her desire to return.
“Even if you don’t think about yourself, shouldn’t you think about your child? Many Chinese families move to New Zealand for their children, so why are you doing the opposite?”
Tangyuan had been asked similar questions many times.
Her answer was always sincere: “Everyone has their own destiny. My daughter was born to me in this world, and my choices are part of her destiny. This is her soul’s choice, and we’re just going with the flow. There’s no need to sacrifice my happiness for my daughter.”
Unlike parents who constantly say they’re doing things “for their child,” Tangyuan firmly believes that “a happy mother means a happy child”.She says she understands families who move abroad for their children; her brother’s family is one of them.
Her brother’s family lived in Australia for a year, but due to unstable immigration policies, they later moved to Canada, where they are now happily settled.
Although Tangyuan’s life in New Zealand had been relatively smooth, she always had a faint idea of wanting to return to China.In August of last year, the family finally made the decision to move back.
They chose Dali instead of their hometown because Tangyuan had always had a good impression of the city.
After high school, her first trip was to Dali, and she fell in love with the natural and cultural atmosphere there. Now, with a child, she wanted a place with a good natural environment, and Dali fit her needs.
They gave away their belongings, and flew back to China with just three suitcases. The house in Dali was found after they returned.
Tangyuan’s husband found a job at a school in Shanghai, so the family had to live apart. Tangyuan stays in Dali with their daughter most of the time, while her husband teaches in Shanghai and joins them during the holidays.
For the two adults, adapting to the new life wasn’t too difficult as they were mentally prepared.For their daughter, however, it was a significant challenge.
Initially, she was excited to explore with her mom, but after a few weeks, she began to miss her friends in New Zealand and wanted to go back. Another major issue was that she couldn’t speak or understand Mandarin, which made her frustrated.
But children adapt faster than adults expect.
In Dali, Tangyuan took her daughter out to socialize, and gradually, the little girl began making friends and learning Mandarin. Now, she has adjusted to life in Dali.
After arriving in Dali, Tangyuan didn’t just take it easy. She resumed her entrepreneurial journey, having previously started a business in New Zealand that focused on innovative materials. That company only operated for a short period before they decided not to continue.
Learning from her previous experience, she scaled down her current business, starting with small products. While living in New Zealand, she loved using canned dish soap, but after moving to China, she noticed that similar products were hard to find. So, she leveraged her skills in design and eco-friendly materials to develop her own product.
In New Zealand, her business followed a path from research and development to incubator financing, but in China, the environment was completely different. She carefully explored the market and took bold steps. Her first product, a small canned natural dish soap, has already been launched on a small scale.
“Dali is not a substitute for New Zealand”
Tangyuan’s business has steadily progressed, and her daughter has become more accustomed to life in Dali.
Because Tangyuan values nature-based education, she chose a private kindergarten for her daughter that aligns with her educational philosophy.The school emphasizes practical skills and often takes the children outdoors for various nature-based learning activities.
Talking about her approach to her daughter’s education, Tangyuan says she focuses on nurturing her child’s natural instincts, avoiding excessive restrictions, and striving to make her feel happy and free.
Many parents in Dali share a desire for a freer, less competitive environment for their children, and this makes communication with other parents easier.
However, there are differences between life in Dali and Wellington.Tangyuan says, “Dali is beautiful, but it’s not a replacement for New Zealand. The natural environment in New Zealand is truly unique”.
She also misses the public facilities, such as libraries, museums, and playgrounds, that were so readily available in New Zealand.
Despite some areas where Dali falls short compared to New Zealand, Tangyuan doesn’t regret her decision. The overall standard of living has improved, and the financial pressures on her family have significantly decreased, allowing her to relax and focus on her new business.
More importantly, making friends in Dali is easier.
In New Zealand, as a foreigner, Tangyuan found it difficult to socialize, even for her husband, who is half American and half New Zealander. Many locals value their close-knit circles, making it hard for outsiders to integrate.
In Dali, Tangyuan has found it easier to connect with others, thanks to the wide variety of social activities and specialized communities.Tangyuan’s business is steadily moving forward, her daughter loves life in Dali, and her husband has secured a job at their daughter’s school. Next year, the family will be reunited in Dali.
No matter where they go, be it leaving or returning, they are pursuing their dream of a free and fulfilling life.
